Claire Kathryn Jane is a precocious teen, always has been, always will be. She posts pretentious arguments and will probably drop her surname.
You can call her "Claire"

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

Valentine's day for the single, feminist or generally embittered with life.

Here are a few tips on how to remain your calm, collected self and not give in to consuming bile, self-loathing and eventually drink.

1) Love yourself and all that jazz.
You're single for a reason and not because your eternal crush laughed in your face.You could have anybody you laid eyes on. You are fabulous.

2)Remember, this is a commercialised day clearly designed by the patriarchy to remind single women of their utter worthlessness without a man. As such, it is your moral duty to remind everyone of this fact. If anyone says they're in love or uses a pet name for their SO, proclaim loudly that "love" is a trap to force women into submission.

3)Boycott the day. The entire day. Stay in bed and watch anything BUT RomComs, (horror is best) the more gory and inventive the deaths of the characters, the better.

4) If you must leave the house, death glare the following :
people carrying flowers/cards/over sized teddy bears/any of the above,
people who are happy,
overenthusiastic shop signs in red or pink,
people who wish others Happy Valentine's day!
No physical violence please, that's what they want!

6) Go out to dinner with your other single girlfriends/manfriends
Have a laugh, slag off relationships and friends who are in relationships, enjoy yourselves. See, you don't need a man/woman, this is much better, isn't it? ISN'T IT??

5) Spend time by yourself.
Essentially important. Read, cook yourself a meal, collect stamps, take a bath in candle light, do whatever makes you happy. Be utterly selfish for a day.

6) Write yourself a love letter.
I haven't tried this one, but why not?

7) Listen to angry, man-hating music.
I'll leave you with the perfect song for this situation.
Also, anything by the Dresden Dolls.



  2. ahahahahaha
    I love how you're advising people to write themselves love letter xD

    Either way, great post darling :)